Taming the Beast…the BEAST?!

Women of every ethnicity under the sun ask me how I straighten my hair and how long it takes to get the job done. “All of those curls! It must take forEVER to straighten them.” “Can you even COMB your hair?” “You must have some strong arms to deal with all of THAT hair…” (Don’t you just LOVE all of the emphatics?) I have strong arms because I lift weights, not because my hair is tumbleweed (my hair isn’t even close to being such a thing). Trust and know there’s a lot less to straightening my hair than meets the eye, as I will describe herein.

Since I don’t have video capabilities set up yet, the following pics and my deft use of the English language will have to suffice for the time being.


Firstly, I always straighten my hair a day after I wash it; for some reason, flatirons are more effective on [at least] day-old hair, in my experience. The process starts by gently using a wide-tooth comb to address any tangles. Next, I mist heat protectant all over my hair and run the comb through it one more time to make sure the spray has been evenly distributed and not one strand has been missed. I have very fine hair that is quite damage-prone without proper care.
After separating my hair into four quarters, I begin the straightening process on a small section of the first quarter with my pre-heated flatiron, placing my comb underneath it as a guide and to keep my strands in place; the smaller the section of hair, the easier and quicker the task becomes because the heat penetrates the hair shaft more effectively and thoroughly.  I repeat this step until one half of my head is completed, usually about 10-12 minutes, then mist the straightened hair with shine spray while the strands are still warm. I repeat these steps with the other half, making the entire process clock in at less than 25 minutes. To finish it all off, I slap on a headband to tame any fly-aways; I don’t want to look like I stuck my finger into an electric socket, I mean c’mon. I might be crazy, but I don’t have to look crazy!


…And then I make myself look crazy anyway.

True Love

Brazilian Keratin: Where have you been all my life? This treatment is my new love, one that will most likely last a lifetime. It takes only 15 minutes to flatiron my hair once dry and the results are salon quality, even with my untrained hand.


The entire process at the salon only took 1 hour and 15 minutes, but I was prepared for it to take 3 hours like everyone had warned me. First, they washed my hair and sat me under a dryer for a few minutes. Next, the stylist sprayed keratin on my hair in small sections to make sure every strand was saturated with it. Then she blew my hair dry with a round bristle brush. The final step was to flatiron my hair stick straight in order to seal in the keratin and flatten my curls into submission. I washed it out after the 72-hour required time period and am amazed with how my hair looks and feels! This was totally worth missing three workouts, even though I felt guilty at the time. Never before have my curls been so loose and soft. I thought they were pretty soft before, but now they are positively silky and smooth (boy, was I delusional). Take a look below to truly see the difference:


Before, my curls seemed more firmly in place like natural ringlets, chunky curls if you will. Mind you, I wasn’t using gel, mousse, or hairspray, only curly hair pudding. And you can see how short my haircut seems due to shrinkage.

And then voilà!


They have magically transformed into loose curls, almost waves, and I am still using the exact same hair pudding, Aunt Jackie’s. This pic (directly above) is of my hair the morning after the initial washout, un-styled (I gave it a side-part when it was still wet the previous night). I’ve never known what it was like to have frizz-free hair, no shrinkage, or concern about curl patterns being dependent on the weather. My hair has always changed from one moment to the next, subject to whatever atmosphere/air it absorbed. Today, it is super humid outside and I was sweating like crazy on my walk to work, worrying about how my hair would react the entire time. Wonder of wonders, when I got to the office and looked in the mirror I saw that my hair had totally kept its fabulosity! I can even run my fingers through my hair without destroying the curls or creating frizz and poof!

Seriously, who needs men when keratin, dark chocolate, peanut butter and working out exist in this world? Ok, ok. I exaggerate…a little…